that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
