Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
