but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
