but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
