Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Found the puke drawer
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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