isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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