Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
