You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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