You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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