Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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