is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
