singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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