I smell stomach acid.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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