I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
