Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
