Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Randomize
