Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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