i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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