She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
