My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
