Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
