ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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