You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
And then my night got REAL pukey
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
