Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
