dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
