If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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