nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
