Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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