i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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