that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
