I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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