You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
