STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
