that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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