Me. At least after what I've been through.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The air was thick with penises
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
