is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
