grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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