he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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