areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize