I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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