So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
