I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize