Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
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Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
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If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize