you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
