Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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