just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
