he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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