There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
