I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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