I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
