love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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