I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
