The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
