a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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