I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
