So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
