Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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